it seems like he’s swaying his awesome body! :))
i just did, and it’s not about this “guy” anymore ^^
just the thought.
A letter to him
Who is alettertohim by the way?
A letter to him Is a story of a girl who fell in love with someone whom she never thought she’ll fell in love with. This blog consists of her everyday letter telling about her feelings and her stories to the guy she loves and how she hopes that he is still reading some of her works for him even though he gave up on her.
So here are the compilations of her letter to him aside from my everyday letters since day 1 to day 365. (well some of you might think it’s boring to read these crappy letters, heheh!!)
habang nasa labas ka pa sana may pagkakataon kang mabasa to. :) di bale i’ll send you the link anyway, hehe! sana strangers na lang tayo, para madali. hindi kasi madali tong ganito yung nararamdaman, mahirap siya, oo. pero nagbibigay naman ng saya at inspirasyon tong nararamdaman ko, it’ll help you fulfill your dreams. gusto ko sabihin sayo ng harapan na mahal kita, hindi ko naman magawa kasi magkalayo tayo, hanggang ganito lang, hanggang fb, chat or text which is minsan lang talaga. hahaha! kaya whenever i get the chance, i’m grabbing it immediately for me to express what i’m feeling for you. this might sound insane, weird or whatsoever, pero ito nararamdaman ko.. mamimiss nanaman kita! :’( goodluck ulit ah? galingan mo, alam ko namang magaling ka na eh!! (yabang o :p hehe!) kaya alam kong kayang kaya mo lahat ng ginagawa niyo. :)) labs. labs. labs. ang saya basahin yan, natutuwa ako pag yan binabasa ko na galing sayo. *kilig* i’ll keep this tumblr updated, araw araw, dito ko kasi mailalagay lahat ng gusto ko sabihin sayo kaya ito. ienjoy mo na lang pagbabasa mo dito ah?
iba pa din talaga yung feeling na nagagawa mo sakin. duhhh impact! hahaha! :p nababaliw heart ko eh. grabe lang. tumitibok ng malakas! andito pa din yung feeling na yun. di pa din nagbago. ^^
this wasn’t easy. ang hirap. gusto ko ikwento sa kanila yung nararamdaman ko sayo kaso yun nga, alam mo na kung ano yun. hirap. hirap. hirap.
eto nga pla kwento ko:
i once asked by an interviewer a super random question, do you have a bf? i answered “no i don’t have, sir” then he keep on insisting that it’s impossible that i don’t have any. then he asked me “Have you ever been inlove? Do you love someone as of the moment?” geez. muntik na ako umiyak nung tinanong nia ako dun, naalala kasi kita eh! huuuu! T_T bumulong n lang ako ng “oo,meron. pero impossible eh.” buti na lang napigilan ko sarili ko. hehe kainis eh.. :’p
i Love you pink dinosaur!
i Love you _______!
i’ll just play melodies of life at yung ibang kanta na nakakapag-paalala sayo pagnamimiss kita.. mwaaaahh! :* balik ulit sa normal bukas. pag alis mo. :| eto, kahit di mo nanaman di mo ako binigyan ng permission to wait for you, gagawin ko. heheh! matigas ulo ko eh, ;p para lang mas mapatatag ko sarili ko, at para masaya ako na hihintayin ko ulit pagbalik mo at pagpaparamdam mo. :)
P.S. i Love you & i miss you!
Lots of Love,
Little yellow dinosaur.(k)
Hi. it’s raining here, so i’ve decided to write this 2nd letter for you. I’m fond of making letters but not love letters, except for this though, hehe! If only i have a chance to send you one, i’ll make one or hundreds for you, but this is different, it’s high-tech nowadays, and it’s the only way i can express my feelings for you. Honestly, i found it sweet when a sender will use the old, outdated, traditional form of sending a mail. lalala~ just like DEAR JOHN. hahahaha! =) anyways, so much for that, as i have mentioned, i am not fond of making love letters, what’s the use of that when you can tell them directly your feelings? right? =) of course there are some exceptions, like this, if you’re far from them..
it’s been months since the last time i cried. If only you knew that i am missing you always then it would be easy for me. things are easier for me when i know that you’re around. I find your words so inspiring, though sometimes you say nonsense things like “hahah”. see what i told you, you have an impact! and i was one of those who were affected by your impact. wahahaha! =) “ano ako bato? at may impact.” effect. duh. i won’t get tired of telling you how much i miss you, i miss you. i miss you. i miss you! Call me crazy, laugh at my words or my feelings for you, but this is the truth and i won’t deny this feeling.
I keep on asking these things on my mind: “ano kaya na-fefeel mo pagnababasa mo mga pinagsasasabi ko?”, “naiirita ka kaya kasi ganito ako?”, “nakangiti ka kaya habang binabasa mo tong mga ‘to?”, “namimiss mo din kaya ako?”, “tinatawanan mo kaya ako sa mga sinasabi ko sayo at yung nararamdaman ko sayo?”, “siguro nagcocomment ka sa isip mo ng ‘baliw naman nito!”
ay ang dami basta.
Pero sana,(sana lang ito ah, i’m not assuming) masaya ka pag binabasa mo to, di ka naiirita sa sinasabi ko instead kinikilig ka pa nga, nakangiti ka habang binabasa mo to yung abot tenga pa, namimiss mo din ako katulad ng pagkamiss ko sayo, hindi mo ako tinatawanan at seryoso ka at iniintindi mo bawat salitang sinasabi ko, at higit sa lahat hindi mo iniisip na baliw ako dahil sa sinasabi ko kasi pag-baliw ang tingin mo sa taong nagmamahal e di lahat na ng tao baliw including you.
minsan gusto ko lumayo sayo, pero pagnaiisip ko pa lang, ay naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi di ko pa naman kaya. siyempre di naman ako ganito dati sayo, pero things are changing, things are different now. share ko sayo motto ko: “USO ANG CHANGE”. ayan nakiuso ako, i changed. hindi sa ugali pero sa nararamdaman, ayan dati di naman kita mahal, ngayon, minamahal kita at mahal kita. sheeeesssshhh.. i love dinosaur, at yung pink colored pa!(ehem! pink!) RAWR! RAWR!. ;)
My heart’s telling me to continue what i’m doing.
P.S. I LOVE YOU! and I MISS YOU!
PPS you can do everything, i know you can.
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (k)
Last night (July 11) i can’t control my tears from flowing. it’s been hard for me these past few days. I can feel the pressure already. i believe that everyone get the time of their life and everyone deserved something better or if they’re lucky, they’ll get the best, right? But how will we know when will that ‘something better’ arrive? There’s no clue. we’re absolutely clueless. Remember what i told you last july 1. Binabagyo isip ko, signal #4 pa nga. ‘til now hindi pa din humuhupa. :( anyways, i need to get a life na. Probably you know what i mean. (ahem)
and so i cried, i need someone to talk to, i can’t even call you nor text you coz i know that it is strictly prohibited to use cellphones there and you must abide to it. atleast i have a tumblr account wherein i can write all my emotions, and share this feeling to everyone who can even relate with me. hehe! I AM NOT EMO, I AM IN LOVE (w/you), okay? so don’t get me wrong. I guess i have to wait for July 29 ang iyong pagbabalik at para makausap ka, makakwentuhan ka, you know me I will always share my time with you, no matter how busy i am may time ako pag makikipagkwentuhan ka.
Miss na kita. Sarap maghintay sa wala. hahaha! alam ko naman yan nafefeel mo for me eh, don’t worry, i keep on reminding myself naman na hindi talaga pwede, kahit gustuhin ko man wala talaga mangyayari. Honestly, masakit siya ah. Pero tatawanan ko na lang ito, alam mo naman na mahilig ako tumawa. Sana kahit naman papano napangiti kita, napatawa, at nainspire kita. :’) tatawanan ko na lang tong nararamdaman ko pero di ko mapigilang hindi umiyak sabay ng pagtawa. Masakit kasi ee. T__T My heart keeps beating your name, and my mind keeps reminding me of you. Therefore, di ko pa din ititigil tong nararamdaman ko para sayo kasi nga lablablabs kita at miss na miss na miss na kita. Di ako pwede mainip kakahintay, kahit mainipin ako sa paghihintay, kakayanin ko. matibay ako eh. I’ll be okay, is that what you want me to say? o_o heheh! Share ko pa sayo isa kong motto: “i’ll wait”.
(my name)’s motto
1. Uso ang change.
2. I’ll wait.
Oh and by the way, i might compose a song, pwede ko bang ipagkatiwala sayo yung tugtog? Magaling ka di ba? hahaha! :))) i’ll write a song for you and put some melody on it. ;)
P.S. I Love You!
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (k)
Hi. Today is July 15 and it’s full moon outside. Nag-iimagine ako na magkasama tayo, stargazing at nakatingin sa moon at ibubulong natin yung kanya kanyang wish natin.. malay mo matupad, dba? Sana nag-eenjoy ka diyan, alam ko naman oo kasi ang dami mong ginagawa at busy ka. :) Kahit kaya busy ka napadaan kaya ako sa isip mo? napadaan o andyan talaga at hindi umaalis? hehe! sakin naman, lagi ka andito sa isip ko, at pati sa heart ko..
naranasan o nafeel mo na ba yung pagnaiisip mo yung tao, nakikita mo picture niya, nababasa mo mga text niya at nababasa mo pangalan niya, bigla ka na lang kakabahan? ang lakas ng heartbeat mo, masaya ka pero malakas kabog ng puso mo. naranasan mo na ba?
kaya ko tinatanong kasi ganun nafefeel ko sayo, kahit hanggang ngayon. hindi ako mapakali sa sobrang kaba. ngayon ko lang naranasan yun although may minahal na nga ako dati pero hindi talaga ganun naramdaman ko noon. iba yung sayo, sayo ko lang nafeel to. grabe. :’)
ano kaya mafefeel mo pag hindi na ako nagparamdam sayo?
Everything happens for a reason and you are the reason why everything is possible for me. You’re giving me strength to hold on to something that is beyond my control. That was before but now, i learned how to become more patient and how to endure the pain inside. enduring sometimes leads to forgetting or sometimes it leads to loving. haha loving the person more. So which path will i choose? to forget or to love more. i don’t know the answer til now. But two things are for sure, i’ll repeat it again. My heart keeps beating your name and my mind keeps reminding me of you. I’m very honest with my feelings. I’m a person who cracks joke, break the rules, doesn’t mind laughing so hard, but when it comes to my feelings, I Am very honest with it. i can tell it directly to you and if i were given a chance to see you again then i will definitely tell my feelings for you by looking directly into your eyes. Don’t worry, kahit ganito lang ginagawa ko para sa’yo, di naman ako nagloloko ng nafefeel ko eh, seryoso ako. HAHAH! yun nga, mas masaya pag personal. heehee.
awww.. i miss you na talaga, lalo na pagnajojoke nanaman tayo at nagtatawanan. nakakamiss. :D
di ako mapapagod sabihin sayo na namimiss kita, namimiss kita, namimiss kita, namimiss kita at namimiss kita at sobrang miss na kita!!!! T^T plus i love you! i love you pink dinosaur, haha! cute! pink! :p lalaking lalaki ka sabay pink pa binigay kong codename sayo ;)
May bago pala ako ulit na motto:
1. Uso ang change.
2. I’ll wait
3. If i could, I would.
So yun na nga yun, if i could see you again, i would tell all my feelings for you.
P.S. I love you more than you could have ever thought!
P.P.S. I Miss you! Mwaahh :*
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (k)
Hello! Andyan ka ngayon, ayos di ba? Yung inaabang abangan mong end of the month dumating na. hehe! Ienjoy mo yan ha? Magsaya ka, alam ko madaming Masaya ngayon kasi nakauwi ka diyan senyo. Kaya dapat magsaya ka talaga. Pag Masaya ka, Masaya din ako, kasi alam ko yun lang talaga ang isang makakapagpasaya sakin tungkol sayo, your happiness. Di ba I mentioned that I have lots of questions on my mind that I want to ask you, so ayan I posted all those questions here. I’m also hoping that you would answer it. Anyway there’s only 33 of them, it’s not that hard to answer naman. Don’t worry it’s not an exam, well it’s a sort of an interrogation. Hahaha! J I missed you. I waited for this day to come pero di ako nageexpect that you would have time texting or chatting with me on facebook, siyempre first things first, yung mga nandyan muna, family and friends, tska the new facebook sucks. I appreciated their new video chat but not the new chatbox. Kaasar eh!
Eto nanaman yung makulit kong heart, lakas nanaman ng tibok pagtungkol sayo, pagnaiisip kita. di ko naman alam bakit ganito kalakas, hindi ko pa din alam yung kasagutan. Grabe! Ikaw baka alam mo? Di ko din alam kung magtatagal pa ako sa ganito yung nararamdaman ko, minsan kasi masakit din maghintay. Ng wala namang hinihintay. Ikaw? Oo. Ikaw. Hahaha! Oo alam ko wala ka naman sinabi na hintayin mo ako pero gusto ko kasi eh, there’s an excitement, unexplainable feeling. Chos. Bakit kasi nagttyaga ako maghintay. Pagsinabi mo na okay lang, okay lang din sakin. Pag sinabi mong hindi okay. Pagiisipan ko pa. kung sa bagay madami din pala naghihintay sayo noh? Di lang ako. Hmmm..
Sana talaga Masaya ka lagi, sana di ka stressed, sana healthy ka lagi. Wag masyado magisip ah? Pag di mo na kaya yung parang susuko ka na, impossible, walang hindi hindi kaya. Alam kong kaya mo lahat yun. Do you want me to stop annoying you? Yung alam mo na? pagsinabi mo na tumigil na ako ititigil ko na pangungulit ko sayo, at etong nararamdaman ko hindi ko na ipaparamdam sayo, itatago ko na lang.
Thank you ah? Ikaw pa lang kasi talaga nakakapagbigay ng ganitong kakaibang feeling. Yah, love. I’ve been in love na din dati pero kahit anong explanation pa gawin, iba tong sayo sa kanila. I don’t feel the extreme thumping of my heart from them. Haay. Ibang iba. Thank you ah? Treasured feeling ko to..
P.S. I Miss you!
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
I’ll always be forever grateful that i get the chance to keep in touch with you, someone like you is hard to find, i can assure you that. It’ll took a lifetime to replace someone like you who made my day complete without doing anything or saying something. I am not expecting something in return, so don’t feel ashamed that you can’t do anything to me because i am treating you special. Don’t be, okay? There will come a time that the both of us will be very busy, i also know that this coming august is a very hectic month for you. Just remember what i said to you, if you’re stressed, just read that word backward and you’ll be relieved. I won’t be able to be there for you at all times, as much as i want to but i can’t. I am helping myself. I must prevent myself from falling deeply in love with you. You have your own life, i have also mine. We can’t be together, and i think this should be better. Though i don’t know whether i’ll be able to do it. Hindi ko agad matatangal tong nararamdaman ko sayo, pero pipilitin ko paunti unti. :) i wish you would say this to me: “please don’t stop liking me.” just like what Lee Shin from Heartstrings said to Gyuwon. Hahaha! I got carried away by this korean drama. Anyway, you won’t do that won’t you? Haha!! In my dreams! A drama will always be drama, those are made by the wide imagination of the writers. If i’d tell such thing to you like that then i’ll add: please continue to inspire me. Haha! Our story is made by ourselves, and God is the one responsible for putting colors on our stories. :) why! Would you look at that, this letter is very long! If we’re going to scroll back to my previous letter, if i am not mistaken? Letter number 2 it says there that if i have the chance to send you a letter, i would send you one or even hundreds, as long as i can relay my feelings to you. That’s how important and special you are to my life. ^^ aside from always posting and reminding you how much i love you and how much i miss you, this time i’ll remind you of how thankful i am to welcome you into my life. So thank you! 감사합니다! Arigato gozaimasu! Gracias! Merci beaucoup! Daghang salamat! Hsiehshieh! 고마훠! Salamat! If i could hug you right know then i would! ^^. omy i might cry from this letter i’m writing. Hahaha!
Come to think of it. I’m a bit worried because you text so different,. Hmmm. Naah, maybe you’re just sleepy already. Answer those questions okay? ;) i’ll wait for that, the same as i Wait for you. You are like a 별. 사랑해!
** it’s a beautiful day, now i’ll be okay now that you’re not away. Yesterday was a terrible day and now that you’re here i’m okay ** (that’s so you)
Ilabyu! :* thank you!
Hmmm. Please don’t stop liking me? Please continue to inspire me? Please don’t forget me? Please be there for me? Please? Hahaha! :))) nyehhh.. I’ll end this letter with a quote and i hope that it will inspire you this coming august. ” Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” so prepare, do your best!! Coz i believe in you. ^^
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
Hello, can you hear me? I was supposed to just scan my letter to you since I wrote it on a piece of paper and for you to see how cute my handwriting was but the scanner won’t load on my brother’s laptop so here, I guess I typed every word on that letter. It goes like this.
I may not have the nicest or the coolest handwriting you have ever seen, nevertheless the most important thing is the thought of what I am writing. Oh and by the way this is my 7th letter for you. LUCKY 7!!! Wuhooo! Since, it’s lucky 7, I want to tell you how lucky I am through these 7 things:
1. You are one of the reasons why I smile.
2. You helped me discover my hidden ability.
3. You made me realize that every day is such a wonderful gift from God.
4. Even though I may not see you or talk to you every day because I know that we’re far from each other, you still give me the courage to wait for another day, for you to arrive.
5. I find your words so inspiring.
6. You are sent from up above; you are one of the nicest thing God has given me, aside from my family and friends, you are very exceptional. I wanted to take good care of you, because I believe that in every person’s life there is someone who will arrive in your life that should be given extra care and extra love. And;
7. I know that this phrase/sentence is repetitive; I just want to remind you that I’m always thinking of you. No matter what I do, no matter where I go there will and there is always a place for you in my mind and in my heart. I love you from the bottom, top, left side, right side and the center of my heart. I love you from every beat of my heart. I love you from what my heart dictates my mind. I love you from the blood that my heart pumps to every part of my body. I love you ‘til you hear me shout your name from here to there. I love you since the first time I saw you. I love you ‘til the sun kisses the earth. I love you like the ticking of the clock every millisecond, every second, every minute and every hour. Lastly, I LOVE YOU ‘til no words can express how much I LOVE YOU!
So yeah. That’s it. I almost shed a tear, wahahah! :D What if?? hmmm..
If I were I novelist, I will write a novel about this. If I were a movie director, I will direct my own movie and tell this story. If I were a painter, I would paint every memory that we shared and how you painted my life with your true colors. If I were a musician, I would compose a music that could touch the hearts of people that are afraid to fall in love.
In reality, there are people who are afraid of falling in love. There are 3 reasons. First, they were hurt from the past. Second, they are expecting too much, like, the one they love should love them in return which didn’t happened. Third, maybe because they are afraid to try. If we fall in love we should be ready to take the risks. We should have mindset like this, not exactly like this, okay? “I’m ready to experience the feeling of being in love, I shall take the risk, I should express my feelings whether he/she will grab it or not.” If he/she grabs it then be happy, if not, and then be thankful that he/she is honest about that. Being in love means never expecting something in return instead being grateful that you are one of those lucky people who have experience the magic that is existing in the world of mankind. So tell me are you afraid of falling in love? What are your reasons labs?
Thank you J___ for being the source of this wonderful lesson.. Love. Though sometimes you might think that I am expecting something from you, nah ah, I want to clarify that I’m not expecting like you will do the same things I’m doing for you. I only expect that in every end of the month, I will hear something from you, your stories to tell, and news about your life.
Before I end this very long letter, I want to tell you that I have 3 wishes for you, not exactly for you, I mean it is related about you. Heheh! If you want to know, just ask me.
P.S. Wishes are different from Expectations.
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
August is the 8th month. Haha! So here’s my 8th letter for you. (hmm, what’s the connection with august and my 8th letter? LOL)
What makes you busy? probably you’re practicing with the choir? with the band? with your team mates? or with whoever, whatsoever, etc. How did you come up with those activities? You’re so active huh. that’s good.. and i’m also wondering how are you managing your time wisely. No question at all when you will receive an award. ^^ I’m so happy for you! I am also proud of you! Slowly you’re reaching out for your dreams. You’re fulfilling it one step at a time, you can see those changes as time passes by..
What are your dreams? Is it clear now? Mine’s getting clearer now, i hope i can reach it too, the way you reach yours.
Am i already part of your past? hahah! you mentioned that “Past is Past” Hindi na dapat balikan pa. Me? I keep on reliving the past. the memories we shared early april, last may, june, july. it’s already in the past for you, am i right? The past still lingers, it is the only memories i have with you.
there’s no present, coz your presence ain’t here, while the future is what i’m always looking forward to. Read the first paragraph again. 8? 8. rotate it 90degrees clockwise or counterclockwise, the infinite sign is present.
Infinity means immeasurable.
My feelings for you is immeasurable, do you want me to explain it to you? NAH! No need because my feelings for you is also unexplainable aside from immeasurable.
Believe in my words, never doubt. If you’re doubting, well you’re just wasting your time. Everything that is written here are true. it came from my heart, it’s very sincere and honest. ah huh. Take good care of yourself.
I’LL WAIT FOR YOU PATIENTLY COZ I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU THAT’S WHY I’LL PATIENTLY WAIT FOR YOU!
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur(K) ^^
it’s true I’m losing sense of time, i don’t actually know what day is it? HAHAHA! I don’t even know what shall i do, etc. heheh! i’m getting crazier each day because i think too much.
Do you believe in “time is too long if you are waiting for someone?” I utterly believe in that quote. Maybe the reason why i’m mixing this day with that day is because i’m waiting for YOU. TIME IS TOO LONG, really. Speaking of time, we need to value our time in this world, do all the things that we can, spend it to our love ones, share it to thousands of people, because time is very much important than all the (invisible matter) in the world. hahah invisible talaga noh? Even in love, time is essential. In order for you to love, you have to have all the time in the world with the one you love. you won’t be able to tell your feelings if you don’t have time. worst is, love won’t work out if you have no spare time. so just share your time with them and with the one you love. it’ll be the greatest gift to her aside from your love. it’s a factor. bwahahaha! :D
so eto yung time na binibigay ko sa taong mahal ko.
No matter how preoccupied my mind is from all the problems and worries i have in my mind, you still have a space in my mind, i can’t stop thinking about you and thinking of you make me smile, giggle or laugh out loud. And i make sure that everyday i must update this tumblr, in a way that i’m telling you all my thoughts about the day, about you or what so ever. I feel like i’m talking to you even without a reply from you. That’s a bit fine with me, i know that you have your own life to live, that’s your pathway and i’m just a stopover to that way you’ve been travelling. :)
i’m just at your back, remember this labs, i’ll catch you if you fall, my hand are always open for you, you can always reach out for me. Just to make sure that you’re always fine, masaya na ako pag masaya ka. :) mahal kita!
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (k)
I’m jealous. hrrr.. but i’m not in the position to be jealous or to be hurt or to grumble about those things. -_-
letter number 10. 1-0 one or zero. That’s a big question. You know what, I can’t deny the fact that I’m still in love with, I’ll continue loving you, I care for you, I always think of you and my heart is beating so fast because of you. Up to this day you still own a place here in my heart. and i thank you for that because I was given a chance to be in love to a person like you, though sometimes i think that the feeling is not mutual, I’m still grateful that I’ve experienced this feeling. Tama ka sa tinext mo sakin na “kasi naisip ko na baka nasa isip mo na ikaw lang ang nakakaalala sakin.” naiisip ko din yan. hahaha! ^^
I’ll try not to cry but i can’t promise you that i won’t be hurt but one thing is for sure:
I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU. ALWAYS.
Best time to whisper all your desires. i love number 11. Siguro kasi dahil sa 11:11 na yan. wala lang. ^_^ i wrote this letter on August 26 around 11:54pm malapit na din mag-next day. But i posted it today(September 4) hahaha! 9days bago maipost. err. eto pinakalate kong post ng letter. hindi updated.
It was nice texting you. sa totoo lang, tumitingin ako sa calendaryo last week, tinitingnan ko kung August 26 ba o September 2 yung vacation mo. Pero tama nga nasa August 26. Masaya na rin ako. kahit in denial at defensive ka. wala ka pala eh. hmp! uhmm. selos ako kasi WALA LANG, selos ako sa girl. She’s so lucky!!!
Anyway babalik ka nanaman sa loob at may concert ka pa. sosyal ka ah? Galing mo! Galingan mo pa… Own that time. own the stage. do your best. i know you’ll shine ‘coz you’re my STAR. ^^ I’m lucky to have you. it’s as if i plucked a star from the sky and guess what i got, YOU! Thank you! Thank you for emitting your light to me. it’s giving me hope & inspiration. I’m really thankful and happy.
Ber Months is already coming (yeah it’s here na pala. see di updated letter ko) Hello Ber, Hello September, October, November and my favorite month DECEMBER. Christmas Season. Giving gifts, exchanging smile, and exchanging the spirit of christmas & LOVE. I’m so excited.
PS. I’ll Miss YOU!
lots of love,
Little Yellow Dinosaur (k)
Your favorite number is 12, right? because it’s your birthday. ^^
By the way did you enjoy your stay there? where’s my letter? are you done with it? To tell you the truth i’m so excited for your letter, i wonder what’s the mystery behind it. hmmm. let me read it. please.
I wanted to share you my thought, a very random thought. honestly, i just don’t want to have a pretty face that may caught the eyes of someone. what i want is for them to appreciate what i have on the inside instead of looking on the physical attributes. I want to inspire people, especially
i love writing but sometimes when i ‘m holding a pen i tend to forgot what will i write and suddenly loss my interest on it. HAHAH! Words come and go, better write it off before it goes.
Hiding your heart is a lot harder than not knowing your heart.
Words must come from the heart. don’t be so in denial, you might regret it. as the quote explains. lastly, words can be soft like a feather and can be sharp like a knife. it can heal a person’s heart or the worse it can hurt someone.
So tell me, are you worth waiting for?
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (k)
Why do you have to seek for an answer about the bond that’s connecting us? There’s no need for you to waste your time, i know that time is essential for you, you have lots of things to prioritize first before searching for an answer. If you will ask me, the answer to your question is…LOVE. It is the bond that’s connecting us. I have read many novels that has the same story to ours. hahahah! and INDEED THE ANSWER IS LOOOOVVVEEE!
While you keep on re-reading my tumblr posts, I, on the other hand is re-reading your text messages and you really really really never failed to make me giggle and smile(like an insane woman) hahaha. siguro ung katabi ko sa fx minsan pag pauwi na ako, akala siguro baliw ako. hehehehe kasi tawang tawa ako at kilig na kilig pagbinabasa ko ung mga messages mo.. wahahaha!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
**I LOVE SEPTEMBER
why? kasi i’m employed already. 2 beses pa sa 1 buwan ang M.E mo. SAYA SAYA ko! alam mo naman sobrang saya ko pag andyan ka eh, YOUR PRESENCE IS ALL I NEED! BUT I NEED YOU MORE. lalala~ somehow i feel so complete when you’re around ^^.
Pwede bang akin ka na lang?
Nakakatuwang tanong pero seryoso ako. hehe! Akin ka na lang, huh? pwede ba?
P.S. on fri or sat or sunday. i’ll call you, okay? :D
lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (k)
Happy 100th day! Start of the countdown was on June 12, remembering sunday. The day you went away. I am still in love with you even if there are always goodbye’s. this is reality.
The reality of you, facing your life on big brother’s house. Haha! LOL! Naaah, the reality that i am truly, madly, deeply in love with you! I can do anything for you, to tell you the truth i’ve been researching already how to go there, what are the routes, where is it located, what time shall i be going, where else should i go, how am i going to make an excuse to my parents, is it going to be safe for me because i’ll be travelling there alone. These are the questions i have in mind. And my heart answered my mind, “you’ll never know unless you try.” so i’ll try. :) i’ll bring the magical box with me. Wuhoo i hope that i can give it to you personally. Kaso sabi mo naman pagiisipan mo pa kasi pagkakaguluhan ka ng community, eh bakit ka pagkakaguluhan??? Answer it please.
Maaga ako pinauwi and i got my allowance again. I bought some materials and suprises to put inside the box, and i am so happy. I can imagine myself handing it to you. Awww!! :) please accept it? :) please.
I have to wait for you again, why is it hard for me to say goodbye? Naiyak talaga ako ha, di kita jinojoke. Para kasing kulang ang time, hay oras nga naman madamot kung minsan pag andyan minamahal mo. Tapos tatawag ka pa last minute call paano ko masasabi lahat ng gusto ko sabihin, tapos may katabi ka pa na babae nagtatanong “sino yan?” hala na!! That’s why i hung up.
Mahal kita. Gusto kita makita. Gusto kita makasama. Gusto ko maasar kita ng harapan, para makita ko reaction mo pag naaasar ka na. Gusto ko kantahin yung mga kanta na dinededicate ko para sayo. Gusto kita ihug. Gusto ko makita mga ngiti mo. Gusto ko sabihin sayo ng harapan na “mahal kita. Wag mo ako iiwan.” at gusto kong picturan kita ng madami para madami ako maitatatago at remembrance, and we’ll take picture of us together.
I can’t stop myself thinking of you!! Every seconds na siya nangyayari! Nakakataba sa puso. Nakakakilig.
At gustong gusto kita makita pagnagfieldtrip kayo dito, pupuntahan talaga kita, seryoso ako!
Thank you! Thank you! Don’t worry, i’ll stay. May babalikan ka pa sa pagbalik mo. Just call my name i’m just a call and text away.. Mwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
Don’t you remember me? 6years ago? When we we’re 15years old? Hahahah i bet you didn’t. All i could remember was your face and your name. First name. I was shocked when i saw you last year(2010). You’re all grown up. You’re still the same “suplado” type, hahah! Why suplado? Kasi dati you’re not even smiling! Picture taking time na, di ka man lang ngumingiti sa camera, i was looking at you silly! I’m observing you. Hahahah mukha kang problemado that time, it was on 2005. Then on 2010. Suplado ka pa din, though you’re already smiling in front of a camera, well who wouldn’t even smile to a nice camera that i’m using. Hahah LOL yabang ko, joke lang ah. :) anyway, you’re smiling. Shiiiii. The killer smile. The killer’s smile? Hahahahah!! :))))) Choose one. :p pero i wanted to say ‘hi’ to you that time. hi lang naman ang gusto ko sana tska picture with you. :) eh wala, masyado ako busy, lagi kasi ako tinatawag, pano picture dito, picture doon, pahinga dito, tapos tatayo ulit. Hahaha! Kaya boom! Wala picture with you, wala din ‘hi’ from you. Cute mo ha! Pogi pa! So much for that, i’m just reminiscing the past. It’s such a nice memory.
I have to tell you something. I have a friend, who really likes me, he’s friends with my close cousin. He liked me. Di ba i told you that someone left a box of brownies on our gate? Siya pala nagiwan nun, paano niya nalaman bahay namin? Dahil sa kapatid ko. That’s why my bday was ruined because of the info that my bro gave. Haay. Anyway, why am i telling this to you?. So yeah, he liked me. But i liked him as a friend. :) he’s not courting me naman, he just confessed his feelings for me, and he don’t stand a chance to have my heart
because my heart belongs to someone else. And that someone else is YOU!
though you’re far, you’re not always here beside me, you’re not always present, you’re not that sweet(sometimes yes, sometimes No), you’re not that time of guy who loves exerting effort to a girl (we’ll see?), you’re presence ain’t here, you’re suplado sometimes, sometimes you’re not serious about your feelings, we’re not sure if we’re on the right track, still, i choose to love and like you.. There’s something in you that made me like you! I have this kind of feeling that makes my heart race, chest pounding, and silence. Iba ang tibok ng puso ko sayo.
There’s no need to worry about my friend, he respects me naman. :) at ikaw naman ay mahal na mahal na mahal ko. I’ll do anything para mapadama ko na mahal talaga kita. Don’t doubt please? I have surprises for you. Just please pray for me na maging safe ako. Heheh!!
Lots of Love,
Little Yellow Dinosaur (k)
No matter how much i wanted to tell everyone who i am, and to whom this tumblr is for, i can’t. I can’t divulge it here. I just wish i could tell everyone that I*inserts my name here* love *inserts your name here* so much! Heheheh! We both know that i made this tumblr for you right? Or if you want you can post this link to your wall on facebook and let’s see what your fans can say. And don’t dare to tell who i am okay? Opps? No. No. Don’t try pala, katakot eh. I changed my mind. Feeling ko i posted something that might,(might!!) give them a clue. What do you think?
This is such a secret that i wanted to tell the whole world but again, i must control myself. :) and i can’t. it sucks though.
I’ve been dreaming of you lately, happy dream that only stays in the land of dreams, when i woke up i can’t remember all the details but i can remember that it’s all about you. How i wish i could’ve stayed in slumberland. :(
Are you sure about your feelings toward me? Or are you just making fun of me? Or is it only a joke? Those are my questions for you in this letter. If you would ask me the same, these are my answers:
1) yes, i’m sure about my feelings for you! No doubt that i’m really in love with you and i like you. What i am not sure of is, are my feelings for you that strong? in a way that i can fight the people around us for you, fight ha? Not the riot thing, but prove to them that i’m sure of what i am feeling for you.
2) yes i am making fun of you, i really enjoy it myself annoying, irritating and joking with you, but i am not making fun of you when it comes to what my heart wanted to voice out. When i love a person, it means i am true to him.
3) no, it’s not a joke. It’s pure honesty.
Seeeeee i answered my questions, hahah! How bout you? What are your answers?
Just enjoy what you’re doing. Keep the music alive. ^^
Lets try it again, repeat after me, I *insert my name here or yours* LOVE *insert your name here or mine* SO MUCH!
And would you mind asking me tons of questions? Like what i am doing for you. Even if there are 100questions, i would answer it immediately. ^^ please? Pretty please?
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
My heart hurts coz your presence isn’t here. I have received 6 goodbyes from you already, and i’ll keep on counting it. It’s part of your life, i deeply understand that you’re still studying, you even mentioned something before, maybe you have forgotten it already and i am here to remind it to you,
“it was only a diversion of words, inlove na ako pero hindi pa ako handa. I need to prepare myself, I don’t just want to grab but rather i want to be prepared in a commitment. Kailangan ko din magsakrapisyo para sa kanya! may tamang panahon sa lahat ng bagay.”
i understand your reason. I am impressed with what you’ve said. You are the type of guy who is not in a rush. It’s hard to find a guy like you, other guys just grab but deep inside they’re not prepared. If it’s me you’re thinking about by the moment you write that answer, i thank you, and if it isn’t me, i still thank you. Especially the part “kailangan ko din magsakripisyo para sa kanya!” if it’s about me again, i’ll ask you, do you think that it’s possible for the both of us? I mean, you know relating to your field and studies and us, our status. I mentioned to you that “nothing is impossibe” even in love. i’m thinking of it too, that’s why i asked you that question.
Fate has something to do with this. God also has his reason behind this. Our hearts, our souls are somehow connected. I am happy when you’re here and so you are. I love you and you love me too(i hope?). I am patient enough to wait for you.
Everything has a reason but what if that reason can’t be reasoned out? How are we going to find the reason for everything?
What ever the reason would be, i am prepared to search for it.
*insert your name here* i love you, i don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but i really love you, there are guys out there a.k.a my fans, that are confessing their admiration/love for me, but still i chooses you over them/him. In terms of love, i am ready to take the risks. My heart is beating your name, and i love the sound of it. Your name is all that i could hold on to and you’re what i long for. I’ll patiently wait for you. I just hope that you’ll be back, coz i’m always here, waiting for you.
Your heart is my refuge.
PS. Leaving always drives me crazy.
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
Alam mo yung feeling na wala kang ibang gustong kausap kundi siya lang? Nararamdaman ko na yang ganyan. Dinadapuan ako ng kalungkutan ngayon. I can’t find any motivation, yes i have my family, but sometimes we’re also experiencing some problems na lalo pang nakakapagpalungkot sakin, i have my friends, pero when i need them the most they’re not there for you. It’ annoying! In short i have to help myself. :(( si God lang nakakausap ko, bumubulong ako nga ako sa kanya araw araw eh. parang ikaw din si God, may sinasabi ako, pero wala ako naririnig kundi Silence pero alam ko may parating na sagot sa mga tanong ko.
Alam mo mswerte ka, sana alam mo ang mga dahilan kung bakit.
Such a cold month. :(
Lots of care,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
How are you? I’m happy whenever i’m telling something about you to my boss, and the mere fact that she keeps on teasing me to you and mentioning your name in repeat. I’m happy but deep inside my heart is breaking because of you, i’m missing you so badly. I didn’t even know when is your vacation for this month. I somehow hate october because of this. Time is too slow! Too slow like a snail! And there are also personal reasons why i hate this month. T____T seriously, i wanted to visit you there! But it’s not yet the right time, i have to wait for your approval before i rush.
And please? Tell me when can i visit you at your school. Heheh! Or can i see you pag uuwi kami this October 30-31? Overnight kami dun, Punta ka sa pupuntahan namin!!!! I wanna see you!
Ano mga pinagkakaabalahan mo dyan? Tapos na ba exam? Ano grades mo? Palpak nanaman ba? Ay teka may concert kayo di ba? Wow ah! Galing naman! Nagshine ka dun for sure.. ^^
Miss na kita talaga!
Lots of love,
little yellow dinosaur (K)
**still waiting for you**
Ola! Konnichiwa! Annyeong ha sye yo! Bonjour!
Different languages, but only one meaning.. Hello! I’ve been dying to say this to you, hello? And it would be 2x better if i’ll be able to say it to you personally.
Sometimes, i felt that you can be compared to the wind. Why? Because i know you’re always there, i can feel it but i can’t see you. I can feel your love but i can’t even see your face. Sad though.
Expectations hurts right? So as much as i want not to expect something from you, i can’t. It’s uncontrollable, i keep on telling myself that in order for me not to be hurt i wont expect. So instead of expecting, my form of expectations are wishes. I’m wishing and praying for you. Though i know that it might sound crazy and impossible, i have to admit that i keep on praying and asking God to give you to me. Hinihingi kita kay God. Funny noh? Pero i’m serious.
Take good care of yourself, okay?
PS i love you!
PPS i miss you!
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur
Sobrang natouch ako sa mga pinagsasabi mo sakin. I didn’t know that you are very sweet pala. Para tuloy akong uuod na binudburan ng asin sa sobrang kilig. Hahahahah!! Seriously, i dont know how to react now that you seem very serious about your feelings towards me. Thank you ah. Thank you talaga, madami pa ako gustong gawin para sayo para mas lalo mong maramdaman na mahal na mahal na mahal talaga kita!! Totoo yung actions speaks louder than our words. Pero siyempre dahil malayo tayo sa isa’t isa we have to believe each other, yung mga salita na sinasabi natin sa isa’t isa.
You know what, i feel so rewarded by God because of you. Andyan ka na talaga. I’m always thankful!! I will love you more! :) and i love you more!!
You give me strength and courage. You cast my fears aside and you help me face what life has in store for me and for us.
I don’t know kung anong status meron tayo, pero i know naman na we dont have to rush things coz we have each other naman, basta ang tangi ko lang alam ay mahal natin ang isa’t isa at masayang masaya tau. Di ba? :)
I just wish that you’re here beside me. So that i could pinch you when you tease me at pag asar na asar na talaga ako, yayakapin na lang kita. ^^
Pinagseselos mo pa ako dun sa girl ha!! Hmp! :( napaisip tuloy ako at napagbuntong hininga dahil dun sa nalaman ko. Haay!
I love my J!
Lots of love,
Little yellow dinosaur (k)
Today is 11/11/11. It’s a remarkable date because it only happens every 100year. I wanted to share this moment with you coz you’re just once in a lifetime just like the date today.
I hope you’re doing good and you’re studying well. Heheh! I know you don’t care about having a diploma and i don’t wanna argue with your opinion but i’ll just share you my point of view that it is very important to have one. It’s one of the key to success. ^^
I’m dying to see you, if only you knew that i can do everything just to see you. You know my plans, and it’s just waiting for you to say yes. Sana magkita na tayo.. I can imagine myself walking with you, laughing with you, talking with you, smiling with you, eating with you and travelling with you. I just hope that it’ll happen this December, and in that way there won’t be SMP for us anymore. Hehehe!! Also, I’m excited to give you my gifts. Yeah, you read it right, GIFTS. Plural. Hahaha it means madami kang bibitbitin pag nagkita tayo. I have my plans na din pagpupunta ka dito, it’s all set, kung saan kita dadalhin. :)) dadalhin kita saking palasyo! Bwahaha! Sabi mo kasi princesa mo ako eh, so ikaw ang prinsipe ko! Heheh! Pero oo handa na kung saan kita dadalhin, itutour kita. :))
I’m missing you so bad. Heheh! Sobrang saya kasi ng 1week vacation mo eh. :) dami mo pinabaon sakin, still feeling kilig!!! Thank you! :* mwaaaah! I love you! Onga pala, pagnagkita tayo, can i hug you tight? Super duper long hug and super duper tight? Hihi.. Dinosaur hug tawag dun. ;)
You takecare always coz i care for you and i always will. If i’m by your side i swear i’ll take good care of you, i won’t let you hurt, i won’t let you down, i won’t make you cry, i’ll always make you smile, i’ll always make you laugh, i’ll always tease you (bwahahah); i’ll make sure manliliit ka sa pangaasar ko. Hihi! I’ll always make you feel that you are loved by me, i’ll give you light, i’ll lend you my hand if you need help, i’ll always be there for you, i’ll stood by you and lastly, i won’t leave you. I’m always here, waiting for you. (:
Lots of love,
Little Yellow Dinosaur (k)
Happy 365th day tumblr.
For those who’s been wondering. It was early summer, summer of 2011. Whenever I am online on facebook, he has been there online too, he got to chat with me then I enjoyed his company too. Whenever I’m sad he’s always there to cheer me up and give me pieces of advice on what to do with the challenges I’m facing in my life. He is such a nice man, he cares for everyone which has been mistaken by some. He is also a religious person, VERY RELIGIOUS person, He is God’s instrument in spreading out his words. And for all the girls out there he is very passionate to music. He can play the guitar and piano well, and he also sings, so if ever you need someone to sing you a song, he’s the person to call up to. He is also very handsome! Yeah, you read it right handsome, kahit po Malabo mata ko, nakikita ko pa din yung looks niya. Anyway, as time passes by, I got to know him well and he got to know me too. We exchanged stories, even our past love life. Then it came to the point that I’m falling for him, but he was the first to reveal his feelings, siyempre I told him that I’ve fallen for him too.
Summer days are over then it’s time for him to go back to the seminary to study, I was shocked by that time that he was studying at the seminary. No communication, just a connection of our hearts through the help of God. Honestly, I am not the type of girl who has enough patience, dati paghintayin niyo ako ng 30 mins, pagmamaldita na abot niyo sakin, but what’s magical about love is that it helped me become more patient in waiting for the one you love.. Once a month lang bakasyon niya, month end, usually Fridays-Saturdays and then pagdating ng Sunday, good bye ulit, back to reality, back to waiting again. It also came to the point that I don’t wanna wake up and just lay on my bed while waiting for the days to pass by. Sabi nga nila, itulog mo lang yan, hehe. Pero I have to be a better woman for him, I have to be eager to find a work immediately. September of 2011, I was hired. I’m so proud to tell him that I was already hired and I’m employed, bawas na ako sa mga taong unemployed. Yeah! He was happy for me too and he told me that I should do well. On October 2011, before all saints day, We went to quezon, I waited and waited for him, for his call and text because I know it’s already semestral break. Pero wala, di siya dumating, good thing nasa beach kami nun, so dun ko nilabas lahat ng emotions ko while waiting for him,. Nung pauwi na kami to Manila, I received a text from him na yun nga, nakauwi na siya, and how he misses me. Nagbabanatan pa nga kami like “ililibing ba nila ako pag nalaman nilang PATAY na PATAY ako sayo” siyempre patok yun banat ko kasi all saints day eh. So ayun, I’m happy! Then, may inamin siya sakin, na meron siyang gustong girl dati, pero she died of convulsion, sabi niya, ung girl na daw un ay guardian angel niya, lumipas ung death anniversary ni girl di siya nakadalaw kasi nasa seminary siya, so instead he prayed for her soul. Then he asked the girl “okay lang ba sayo yung nagugustuhan kong babae?” he told me that after a week yata, the girl appeared in his dreams and smiling on him. Sabi niya sakin, ibig sabihin daw okay lang daw sa girl na yun ung nagugustuhan niya, which is me. Nanindig balahibo ko while he’s telling me the entire story.
November came, 1 linggo ung bakasyon niya and I felt like I was the happiest girl alive knowing that your love one is just a text and call away. Kahit may work ako nun, sige puyat, abot ng 2am tapos 5am pa ako nagigising to prepare for work. Hehe pero I’m full of energy kahit kulang kulang na sa tulog. He’s my strength at the same time my weakness too. Oh and I remember, November is the month where I have been a suki of LBC. Dito ako nagstart magpadala ng package sa kanya. Using the name ***** *****, ayoko ilagay dito at baka gayahin niyo pa. heheh! So there, my first package was a love capsule inspired by the Korean movie “A millionaire’s first love”. 18 love capsules. Pagbinuksan niyo yung capsule, may message inside. I told him that “just take one capsule a day, it cures everything just don’t overdose yourself” he did what I told him to do. One capsule a day only. Here are the messages inside those capsules:
1. I wish I’d hurt for you.
2. I love you enough for my heart to burn.
3. I miss you! It’s a disease.
4. If it rains, remember that the rain can’t cool down my love for you.
5. You’ve brought me happiness.
6. If you love someone, tell her. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous.
7. The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for.
8. It doesn’t matter how often we see each other, what matters most is how much we think about each other.
9. If I am where you are, nowhere is too far.
10. You are pogi, not just by looks but also on the inside. POGI means P-presence O-of G-God I-inside.
11. Don’t count the miles, count the ILOVEYOU’s.
12. I’ll wait….. I’ll wait for you.
13. I found very special in my life and it is YOU.
14. I’ll give you light when your path is full of darkness.
15. I held your hand and gained courage. Now I am not afraid of anything.
16. Everything happens for a reason and you are the reason why everything is possible for me.
17. You’re giving me strength to hold on to something that is beyond my control.
18. God gave me you to show me what’s real and to appreciate that every day is such a wonderful gift
Oh and by the way, he made me a song, original composition entitled “I wish you were here” yun ung kantang nagpapalakas sakin, habang hinihintay ko siya. J I wanted to write the lyrics here pero baka manakaw niyo lang ung gawa niya, siyempre pinapahalagahan ko un. I JUST WISH HE WAS HERE or I WAS THERE. He has a relaxing and soothing voice. I just love to hear him sing me a song or we could make a duet soon because I also wrote a song for the both of us. Pero I think It’s too late. Haay.
December of 2011. I wanted to give him a Christmas present, I made 84 papers stars na may nakasulat ulit sa loob,I bought him books, 3 books entitled – By the river piedra I sat down and wept by Paulo Coelho; The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch and; The Letter Box: A Story of Enduring Love by Mark and Dianne Button. Mind you, there was a story behind this book entitled the letter box, I chose this because my gift to him was a big box full of letters and it is full of love, while I was on national bookstore, I searched for that book on their catalog, andddd huwaaala! 5 copies left, so I rushed into the section, inspirational section to search for that book, but found nothing, I seek for the help of the sales lady, but the sales lady told me na dun lang nakalagay yun, I went down the stairs to go to their customer service, the sales lady told me na lahat daw ng copies nun nasa bargain na!!! I was sad and shocked when I went to the bargain section of national bookstore, ang daming libro! Di nakaayos, parang pinagbababato lang ung libro. I didn’t quit, why? Because it’s for the man I love, I’m doing this for him, so why quit? Libro lang yan, kaya ko hanapin yan. Inabot ako ng 2 oras para dun sa libro na yun, when I felt like quitting kasi gutom na ako at masakit na binti ko, I prayed and asked God’s help, “Lord, pagnahanap ko yung libro ibig sabihin gusto mo ako para sa kanya”. Nagumpisa ulit ako maghanap after the prayer, and guess what, may hinatak ako na libro kasi ang cute ng color, color purple, pagkahatak ko, may nalaglag na libro na nakapatong dun, pagkatingin ko sa sahig yung book na na hinahanap ko!!! I WAS RELIEVED because I found the book and I can’t believe it. Ang saya kasi nanghingi ako ng sign at binigay niya.
So ayun, 84 paper stars, 3 books, 1 award (hihi), inspirational quotes, EVERYDAY LETTERS (starting from September-December).
Dec.25 My first Christmas having him in my life. It was my happiest Christmas as of the moment. WHY? Because he told me that he wanted me to become his girlfriend. He told me some things na nakakataba ng puso at bilang babae, kikiligin ka. I know we’re far from each other, pero I believe in him and I believed his words because it is the truth. HE TOLD ME THAT HE IS A SEMINARIAN AND HE HAS VOWS TO OBEY AND ONE OF THEM IS NOT TO LIE. So using the word vow, I believed. It was drastic! I can’t sleep for days. There is an unfading smile on my face it’s as if painted on my entire body and soul. Merry Christmas and I love you. Those were the words that made my heart skipped a beat. He was the best gift ever.
January 2012. Happy New Year! It’s new year and you’re now in my life. Fireworks. It came to the point that I wished we were together to watch the spectacular fireworks. It was one of my dreams with him. Watch fireworks with him. January 02. Goodbye Holiday, then I bid him goodbye too. Sad though but I have to be happy for him and cheer for him, it’s not an easy task to study and to be a seminarian. All of your activities are according to schedule. January 08 – he left me a message on my facebook account telling me something, the few words that I can’t forget was “see you on Jan.27”. I WAS LIKE, OH MY!! We’re going to see each other again after 2yrs. But January 27 came, I waited for no one and nothing. He didn’t come to meet up with me. Wondering why? Kasi nagdonate siya ng dugo, he was weak and he needs to rest. May mas nangangailangan ng tulong niya para mabuhay, samantalang ako siya ang kailangan ko, so he made a choice to help the one who is really in need. Ako daw kasi giniv-up niya kasi kaya daw niya ako balikan, habulin kasi maiintindihan ko naman daw ung nangyari. Oo naiintindihan ko naman, malawak pasensya at pangunawa ko sa kanya eh. Kasi alam ko naman na I’m not his priority and I’m not aiming to become his 1st priority knowing that he’s a seminarian. So I forgave him, dun naman papunta yun, kaya bakit ko pa papatagalin ang pagpapatawad eh limited na nga lang oras niya sa labas, sasayangin ko pa ba?. At this moment, I made a quotation, “don’t get too excited on something ‘coz you’ll be disappointed in the end.”
February 2012. It is the month where I started visiting the church in Laguna wherein you have to complete 9 Fridays for the novena, one of the reasons why I keep on visiting the church is to pray for him, and to ask God to give him to me. Hehehe! See kung pano ko kulitin si Lord. I didn’t care kung madaling araw na ako makauwi sa bahay as long as nabisita ko ung simbahan na yun, for him and for God. February 14 - Valentine’s day. He planned that since we’re not together, magsulat na lang ng sulat para sa isa’t isa at ung mga bagay na gusto sabihin sa araw na yun at kung anong bagay ang makakapagpaalala sa isa’t isa, kuhanin o picturan. I just did what he told me to do. I made lots of letters and took pictures of certain things that reminds me of him. Then on march 31, magkikita kami, dun naming babasahin magkatabi ung letter.
BUT MARCH 31 CAME, I waited for nothing and no one again. Hindi niya ako sinipot, hindi siya nagparamdam, wala. I was so mad at him. I was hurt! I prepared for it, I won’t expect naman if he didn’t pushed me to expect eh, Galit na galit ako pero sabi ko itong galit ko na to sa kanya hindi magtatagal, kasi may mas nangingibabaw sa galit at inis ko, yun ung pagmamahal ko sa kanya. So what did I do again for him, I forgave him.
April came, nagiba na lahat, he’s not sure enough of his feelings for me. Eto yata yung month kung saan naibuhos ko lahat ng luha ako, at piniga ko ung sumasakit kong puso dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko, parang sabi ko, nagmamahal ako, minamahal kita, bakit sakit ang binabalik niya. Sweet siya, magiging cold ulit, siguro pagnakainom lang siya sweet. Ganun nga siguro, napagconnect connect ko na ung mga sinasabi niya. Hindi ko siya kayang saktan, hindi ko kayang ibalik sa kanya yung sakit na pinadama niya sakin. Kahit masama loob ko, di ko magawang gantihan siya. Nagmahal ako para magmahal, hindi para manakit. :|
May – present. Puro sakit na lang, hurt, I cannot feel his love for me anymore. Oo mahal daw niya ako, pero parang may kulang. Hindi na siya nagpaparamdam sakin, Masaya na siya siguro sa kung ano ang meron siya at yun ay kalimutan niya ako sa tulong ng ibang babae. I know you’re giving your attention to other GIRLS. Yes girls! Plural. That attention was supposed to be mine, pero dinedeadma mo lang ako, hindi ako tanga! NAGPAPAKATANGA lang dahil mas pinili ko maging ganito para lang sayo! Dahil mahal kita. I told those people who are concern about me, chances? I won’t limit myself to one or two chances, sa mundong ito, madaming chances, kaya hangga’t kaya ko, magbibigay ako ng madaming chances sayo. Nakaka-ilan ka na. di ko na alam, kasi ganito pagmamahal ko sayo. You even wanted your space? Sige ibibigay ko sayo, sa ngayon yan lang magagawa ng pagmamahal ko sayo. Ang space. “when you’re needing your space to do some navigating, I’ll be here patiently waiting to see what you find” I guess I knew what you found already, bagong kasiyahan ng wala ako sa buhay mo, bagong babae sa buhay mo, madami. It’s clear now. So who ever that woman is, lucky for her because she already have you in her life that easy. I wish you both happiness. You cannot blame me if I’m like this, I am badly hurt. Madali ako kausap, if you want us to be okay, make an effort!!! Atleast make an effort, hindi ung magpapakaduwag ka at magpapadala ka sa decision ng ibang tao, hindi sila ikaw kaya hindi nila alam ung nararamdaman mo diyan sa loob mo, it’s not their life. Ask for their advices, listen, and it’s up to you, kasi buhay mo yan. Nagpapadala ka kasi agad sa ibang tao eh. Yan ang hirap sayo. You’re putting someone else’s opinion sa pagmamahalan natin dalawa, na di ko alam kung masisira„ nasira o sinisira ng iba.
To YOU, I wanted to say thank you for allowing me to prove to you how much I love you. Ang dami kong natutunang bagay dahil sayo, you taught me how to become more patient, how to look around and appreciate all the simple things around me. How to become more closer to God, how can a simple prayer help you and the people around you, how to wait for the person you love, thank you for sharing your time with me and making me happy in just a short period of time. Summer is over. 365 days of summer is over because you gave up on me, ayaw mo na sa akin… I can’t promise you that I won’t cry, di ko mappromise yun kasi masakit talaga, napakasakit. May isa akong solusyon para makalimot at para makaiwas sa sakit na to. tska mo na lang malalaman. Madami akong ipagpapasalamat dahil sayo. Hindi ko kaya isa-isahin dito, basta alam na ni God yun. I wish you Good health, Happiness and I wish you luck on all your endeavors in life. I’m so proud of you. And I always will. I love you, I always have and always will. Thank you and take good care of yourself. I wanted to say sorry too, coz you think I’m so demanding and I get too clingy and sorry coz I’m not good enough for you. I LOVE YOU. Last quotation that I made for you, “I wanted to become a better person for you, but you’re teaching me how to become a bitter person”
And for you who ever you are, or for another girl he’ll date, here are a few reminders:
1. He has a weak resistance to travel, make sure that he has bonamin or dizzy tab.
2. Be patient. He is always missing in action when you’re at the climax of your topic, so be patient.
3. He doesn’t admit that he has problems, so if you can sense that he has, text him something that would enlighten him.
4. Text him good morning texts or goodnight texts so that you could brighten up his day.
5. Dream of something that includes him.
6. He doesn’t admit that he is jealous, if he is, tell him not to worry coz you won’t let go of him.
7. Be reminded that expect the unexpected, he always mention that when it comes to expectation.
8. Don’t demand. Or else you’ll receive this text, “di ko maibibgay yang lintik na demand na yan”
9. Sing him a song.
10. Keep him updated, he’s a seminarian, so do your own idea how he could catch up with your stories.
11. Have enough patience to wait for him every once in a month.
12. He’s a funny guy. So be sure that you could “bara/barahin” his corny banats and jokes.
13. If he’s down, tell him that you love him. With matching mwaah on your text.
This is all for now, I could write all of them here but maybe his future girl would figure it out with understanding and patience. I’ll miss him. Every end of the month, I’ll miss him and the times how I waited for his arrival.
Life is a series of arrivals and departures. But do they really leave us? I think not. Their roles just change. I have arrived in your life and I guess I’ll meet the time of my departure soon. I just want to repeat what I have written on my valentine’s day letter, I love you forever, I won’t tell I love you til the end, kasi if we reach our end, saan na? paano na? e di tapos na? I love you forever kasi it’s a process and a challenge how to prove to the one you love that you really love them. I told you that I won’t be the first to let go, but you let go of me na., you gave up on me. Ang sakit. :’( sobrang sakit. T_T
I did my part.
Little Yellow Dinosaur (K)